A single opportunity rarely makes or breaks a career, writes Jim Bright.
Ross from Ivanhoe writes: "I have spent 12 years waiting for a particular opening in my company to become available and I blew the interview. I feel as though I've screwed up the one big chance in my career. What can I do?"
Ross's email was serendipitous as I was discussing this dilemma on a recent edition of Life Matters on Radio National. We are often encouraged to believe our lives contain these "make-or-break" moments that will determine the rest of our days. It is not uncommon for people to recount their career stories as revolving around such moments and I think herein lies a clue to why this may be counterproductive.
Our strong tendency to account for our careers in terms of narrative can be so overwhelming that we bend the facts to fit the structure and demands of a story. Once we embark on a story we unwittingly commit to three things: a plot; a linear "this happened and then this happened and then this resulted" form of logic; and some form of crisis, turning point or conversion.
In his book The Seven Basic Plots: Why We Tell Stories, Christopher Booker says only seven plots underpin all stories:
■ rags to riches;
■ overcoming the monster;
■ the quest;
■ voyage and return;
■ comedy;
■ tragedy;
■ and rebirth.
Each of these plots has a make-or-break moment. However, real life is not so linear and cannot be simplified into these dramatic devices. Simultaneously, life is more complex, more dramatic and more banal than stories would have you believe. Indeed, it is the sheer complexity of life that makes it hard to recognise when we are approaching a tipping point.
The great career counsellor Joni Mitchell pointed out "you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone". In other words, often in careers we have no idea whether we have reached a make-or-break moment - the peak of our careers - until much later when we look back. If we cannot tell at the time, we are even less likely to be able to predict such moments.
The tendency to see upcoming moments or recent events as make-or-break moments is as likely to be due to an overly dramatic and exaggerated view of things as it is a reflection of the realities. Further adopting this kind of thinking can create significant problems for people who place paralysing pressure on themselves, or alternatively are prone to despondency and ennui if they feel they have missed their chance.
Indeed, it is instructive to think carefully about past events that at the time we saw as make or break but turned out to be small beer. My guess is there are far more of those experiences than the true make-or-break moments.
I'd encourage Ross to reframe his thinking in a way in which he appreciates the degree of control he has over the situation. He may be able to consider similar roles in other organisations or other roles within his company.
Furthermore, there is no reason to believe the new incumbent in the coveted role will last as long as the last. Another opportunity may arise but if Ross believes he has missed the boat, he will not be ready to take advantage.
To treat every moment in a career as make or break is a sure-fire recipe for burnout and disappointment. The trick is to stay aware of opportunities, try your best and recognise that even if the moment is truly make or break, the outcomes are rarely fully under our control.
Jim Bright is professor of career education and development at ACU and a partner at Bright and Associates, a career management consultancy. Send emails clearly marked "FOR PUBLICATION" to brightside@jimbright.com.