Honesty is the best approach when you've had a change of heart, advises Jim Bright.
Rachel from Mosman writes: "I am in my final year of university. This year, I applied for several graduate jobs. Earlier in the year, I accepted an offer from a firm (i.e. I signed a contract to work for them in 2012). Everyone in the firm has been friendly and welcoming to me. Recently, I received an offer from another organisation."
"I would like to reject the offer from the first firm and accept the one from the second. Can you please give me some advice on how to make that difficult conversation with HR regarding rejecting the first offer? They have been lovely to me. I know the firm has put effort into recruiting me, so I want to do it in the nicest possible way."
Rachel seems to have made up her mind that she definitely wants to accept the second offer. Despite this, I would counsel her to consider this decision carefully. The company that has been so nice and put in a lot of effort may turn out to be a great place to work. Rachel needs to consider carefully what she may be turning her back on.
People in Rachel's situation should also consider the nature of the industry they work in. If she is going to work in a small, tight-knit industry sector, then her broken promise may get around quickly and damage her reputation.
If, as seems likely in Rachel's case, she is going to be undeterred, then she has two options: tell some version of the truth or lie.
Putting aside any moral objections to lying, if Rachel decides on this course, she had better be good at it and stick to her story. I know of a graduate who signed on with an opinion-polling company and later decided to undertake a management consultancy role.
The graduate told the polling company they could not start work as agreed because they had to look after their sick grandmother. A year later, around graduate recruitment time and comfortably ensconced in the consultancy role, this person was surprised when they were contacted by the company inquiring after the health of the grandmother. It made for an awkward confession and probably ended their chances of working for that firm in the future.
So honesty is the best option. Someone in Rachel's situation needs to work out what the truth is. I am guessing that the truth is likely to involve a change of heart on Rachel's side.
Therefore she can approach the HR department and tell them that she has had a change of heart, that she is no longer happy or excited by the prospect of working in the offered role and that she now realises she would not be able to offer the levels of performance and commitment the role deserves.
She should emphasise that the role is still a great opportunity but on reflection she is not the best fit for it and therefore wanted to let HR know at the earliest opportunity so it could find a stronger candidate and better fit.
This formulation is both honest and respectful, but it avoids going into detail about alternative offers and is more likely to close off discussion of why she chose one role over another.
Generally in these situations, honesty is the best policy. However, the key is to think carefully how to present the facts in a manner that is truthful, respectful and in a way that minimises damage to the applicant's reputation.
Jim Bright is professor of career development at ACU and a partner at Bright and Associates, a career management consultancy. Email marked clearly "FOR PUBLICATION" to brightside@jimbright.com.